I was often confused to ask for help from someone I know I can’t seem to help later. A small incident revealed an important insight into this. I had a RAC seat (for non-train travelers, in RAC one seat is shared between two passengers) during a train trip. A family boarded the train and they had three seats in one compartment and one in another. I overheard them that they are not going to use the fourth seat and then quickly asked them if I could use it. They agreed and one person went all the way to the other compartment to confirm the seat for me. We never exchanged cards and I don’t think I would possibly be able to help him later.
Now, given such a scenario, how many of us will ask for help? I have seen that lot of people are afraid to ask for help in this or other scenarios. Does it tell something fundamental about our behaviour?
The fact is that the “help system” is not mapped one-to-one. You help someone and it comes back to you through some other person. So, don’t be afraid to ask for help even if you can’t help the other person as long as you are giving it back through someone else.
The bottom line? People who keep helping others get the ability to ask help from others whenever required (leave the exceptionals). So, if you are not asking for help, think whether you are giving it back to the system or not?
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